Saturday, July 25, 2015

The struggle that comes with weight loss

I have PCOS, which stands for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.  It is a lot of things with a lot of symptoms. It affects the hormones, menstrual cycle, glucose level, and metabolism.  I can relate to especially the glucose level, and the metabolism. I am a PCOS sufferer who is also a diabetic.  I have always been the perfectionist type so long as I can remember.  Maybe it is time for me to ditch that rigid way of thinking.  It has held me back; that is why it has become a struggle.  I have all of the guidelines and rules and regulations that I have set up for myself.  Why the struggle? What is the problem?

The problem is that struggle doesn't come easy for me.  However, since when has struggle been easy?  I am rigid in my thinking.  Having a clear set of rules is good.  However, it can get extreme.  The extreme being even if I mess up or if one change has to occur then the struggle becomes even more difficult.  That is what is going on me and has been for a long time.  I remember the doctor telling me on more than one occasion that it is harder to lose weight.  He was right.  I hasn't been smooth sailing since I started on my weight loss journey.  I realize that this is almost the same reflection as yesterday, but I finally get to answer my questions. Reality and change can and are not mutually exclusive.  That is why creating a real to life meal plan has been hard.  I take responsibility since I don't seem to know the difference between a meal plan and a menu.  I realize that though it is minor, I do tend to focus on those little details.  If I don't even get that detail right, I get frustrated.  That is what has been what is or was going on with me.