Today's musing is in black

I have struggled and struggled some more.  Well, I have written in the last two blogs I have written about action.  The reason why I struggle is because I have often failed to follow what I need to follow.  I am afraid to fail.  Now that I know the reason, how do I overcome that so that the pressure to lose weight and be healthy no longer becomes greater.  I was mentally overwhelmed for a number of reasons.  Deep down, I am also troubled by the lack of success I have made over the years.  This is in part during my struggle to not only make but also follow my plans.  I wonder how other people don't seem to follow those plans.  Should I just start over?  Should I just follow the plans laid out before me above.  I have the plans and the guidelines, so what am I waiting for?

I realize that whenever I say action, I mean to take action now, not later.  Anyways, I could really use some help in overcoming procrastinating.  I am taking too long to do something I am doing.  It pains me to say this.  However, I will say it, or rather write it out.    I have so many tools to use when it comes to what I have in order to lose weight.  For a while, I have put so much pressure on myself that I realize that I can let it go. I have begun to stress myself out on my food intake or exercise.  I am a diabetic who is also obese.  I have not changed that fact in years.  I do have a number of medical issues that it is as if some are easier than others to deal with.  Well, I have to see things differently or at least learn to.  The answers to not procrastinating is to make a schedule and to realize that health is not to be taken for granted.  This is my health.

How do I make small changes?  Today, I have realized how hard losing weight is.  I struggled.  I lost and gained.  I am just tired of struggling.  I wish I had the foresight that I had months ago.  I am learning how to appreciate my struggle.  Well, struggling is better than nothing.

Reflection on taking action

I have struggled and struggled some more.  Well, I have written in the last two blogs I have written about action.  The reason why I struggle is because I have often failed to follow what I need to follow.  I am afraid to fail.  Now that I know the reason, how do I overcome that so that the pressure to lose weight and be healthy no longer becomes greater.  I was mentally overwhelmed for a number of reasons.  Deep down, I am also troubled by the lack of success I have made over the years.  This is in part during my struggle to not only make but also follow my plans.  I wonder how other people don't seem to follow those plans.  Should I just start over?  Should I just follow the plans laid out before me above.  I have the plans and the guidelines, so what am I waiting for?

I realize that whenever I say action, I mean to take action now, not later.  Anyways, I could really use some help in overcoming procrastinating.  I am taking too long to do something I am doing.  It pains me to say this.  However, I will say it, or rather write it out.    I have so many tools to use when it comes to what I have in order to lose weight.  For a while, I have put so much pressure on myself that I realize that I can let it go. I have begun to stress myself out on my food intake or exercise.  I am a diabetic who is also obese.  I have not changed that fact in years.  I do have a number of medical issues that it is as if some are easier than others to deal with.  Well, I have to see things differently or at least learn to.  The answers to not procrastinating is to make a schedule and to realize that health is not to be taken for granted.  This is my health.

Re-post from Monday 4/25/16

Daily diet plan

Meal: A
Time: B AM/PM
What I ate or drink? C
Number of calories: D
How much or number of ounces: E
Location: F
Carbs: G
Feelings and thoughts: H
Right: I
Wrong: J

Daily Exercise Plan

Time: A
Specific exercise: B
Mindset before exercise: C
Mindset after exercise: D
Equipment: E
Reflections for exercise: F
Calories burned: G
Pulse: H
Time limit of exercise: I
Actual time of exercise: J
Number of sets: K
Reflections: L

I have struggled and struggled some more.  Well, I have written in the last two blogs I have written about action.  The reason why I struggle is because I have often failed to follow what I need to follow.  I am afraid to fail.  Now that I know the reason, how do I overcome that so that the pressure to lose weight and be healthy no longer becomes greater.  I was mentally overwhelmed for a number of reasons.  Deep down, I am also troubled by the lack of success I have made over the years.  This is in part during my struggle to not only make but also follow my plans.  I wonder how other people don't seem to follow those plans.  Should I just start over?  Should I just follow the plans laid out before me above.  I have the plans and the guidelines, so what am I waiting for?

Taking necessary action

Daily diet plan

Meal: A
Time: B AM/PM
What I ate or drink? C
Number of calories: D
How much or number of ounces: E
Location: F
Carbs: G
Feelings and thoughts: H
Right: I
Wrong: J

Daily Exercise Plan

Time: A
Specific exercise: B
Mindset before exercise: C
Mindset after exercise: D
Equipment: E
Reflections for exercise: F
Calories burned: G
Pulse: H
Time limit of exercise: I
Actual time of exercise: J
Number of sets: K
Reflections: L

I have struggled and struggled some more.  Well, I have written in the last two blogs I have written about action.  The reason why I struggle is because I have often failed to follow what I need to follow.  I am afraid to fail.  Now that I know the reason, how do I overcome that so that the pressure to lose weight and be healthy no longer becomes greater.  I was mentally overwhelmed for a number of reasons.  Deep down, I am also troubled by the lack of success I have made over the years.  This is in part during my struggle to not only make but also follow my plans.  I wonder how other people don't seem to follow those plans.  Should I just start over?  Should I just follow the plans laid out before me above.  I have the plans and the guidelines, so what am I waiting for?

Break time.

I am taking a break.

Diet and exercise plan for 4/21/16

Diet plan

Meal: Breakfast
Time: 9 AM
What I ate or drink? Scrambled eggs, pork sausage, grits, toast
Number of calories: A
How much or number of ounces: 16 oz. water + 20 oz. coffee
Location: B
Carbs: C
Feelings and thoughts: D
Right: E
Wrong: F

Meal: Snack 1
Time: 11:20 AM
What I ate or drink? 1 cup strawberries + 1 small orange
Number of calories: A
How much or number of ounces: 8 oz. shake + 12 oz. water
Location:  B
Carbs: C
Feelings and thoughts: D
Right: E
Wrong: F

Optional
Drink and amount consumed: A
Calories: B

Meal: Snack 2
Time: 1:45 PM
Food consumed: Plain Toast
Number of calories: 140
How much or number of ounces: 8 oz. water
Location: B
Carbs: C
Feelings and thoughts: Reflection
Right: Reflection
Wrong: None

Meal: Dinner
Time: 4:30 PM
What I ate or drink? 3 ounces sausage + 1 cup broth
Number of calories: A
How much or number of ounces: 8 oz. water + 20 oz. coffee
Location:  B
Carbs: C
Feelings and thoughts: Reflection
Right: Reflection
Wrong: None

Meal: Snack 3
Time: 7:00  PM
What I ate or drink?  1 cup strawberries
Number of calories:  A
How much or number of ounces: 12 oz. water
Location:  B
Carbs: C
Feelings and thoughts: Reflection
Right: Reflection
Wrong: Reflection

Daily Totals:
Number of calories: T
How much or number of ounces:  TConsumed
Location: TLocation or TLocations
Carbs: TCarbs
Daily reflection:
Discuss and reflect on daily totals and how to correct what is in need of change.

Exercise Plan

Sample below:

Time: 8:00-8:30 AM
Exercise (s): 10-15 minutes of walking
Mindset: How it can be changed; different or similar to reflection
Health conditions: PCOS, obesity, bipolar
Equipment and clothing: yes
Reflections: I am just afraid to stay the way that I am
Motivation: I want to be healthy and stay healthy
Calories burned: 160
Pulse: 89
Time of exercise: 13 minutes
Exercise once today (including number of sets).

Time: A
Specific exercise: B
Mindset before exercise: C
Mindset after exercise: D
Equipment: E
Reflections for exercise: F
Calories burned: G
Pulse: H
Time limit of exercise: I
Actual time of exercise: J
Number of sets: K
Reflections: L

Reflection about my latest plan to lose weight

Meal: Breakfast
Time: 10;00 AM
What I ate or drink? Fiber One brownie
Number of calories: 90
How much or number of ounces: 8oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: At least I have eaten something for breakfast.

Meal: Lunch
Time: 1:20 PM
What I ate or drink? Cheerios
Number of calories: 700
How much or number of ounces: 12 oz. water + 32 oz. coffee
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: I ate way too much in one setting

Meal: Snack 1
Time: 4:30 PM
What I ate or drink? Peanut butter and jelly sandwich
Number of calories: 460
How much or number of ounces: 12 oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: Should I have eaten that before I eaten the fries?

Meal: Dinner
Time: 5:00 PM
Food consumed: French fries
Drink and amount consumed: 12 oz.water
Calories: 360
Reflection: I did eat a healthier portion of fries than before, so I did not eat too much in one sitting

Meal: Lunch
Time: 8:40 PM
What I ate or drink? Fiber One brownie
Number of calories: 90
How much or number of ounces: 32 oz. coffee + 4 oz. juice
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: I should have consumed some water, even if it only 8 oz. of water,

Daily Totals:
Number of calories: 1700
How much or number of ounces: 44 oz. water+  64 oz. coffee +4 oz. cranberry juice
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Overall summary: Not bad...not bad at all, except I did not always consume food in healthy portions.

Exercise Plan
Time: 8:30-9:00 AM
Exercise (s): 10-20 minutes of walking
Mindset: How it can be changed; different or similar to reflection
Health conditions: PCOS, obesity, bipolar
Equipment and clothing: yes
Reflections: I am just afraid to stay the way that I am
Motivation: I want to be healthy and stay healthy
Calories burned: X=<100
Pulse: Y>=75
Time of exercise: 16 minutes
Exercise once today (including number of sets).

My mindset so far has changed and is in need in continual  change.  Can I keep this up on a daily basis?  Should I go to a website and enter my information?  So far, this is the best way I can come up with both a diet and an exercise plan.  Right now, my mind has been cleansed of all of the clutter. However, I have yet to overcome my fears.  I have been told that I am good at planning.  If I am so good at making plans, then why do I have difficulty following them?  I am at a high amount of weight for my height.  I am also considered super morbidly obese.  I realize that I can do some work myself.  I can purchase healthier foods however, but even healthier foods can be a trigger. 

 How many calories should I consume in order to lose weight, which is my goal?  I need help.  This is quite a good plan I admit.  I also realize that I have placed limits on what I eat and drink but I have also placed limits on what I need to do in terms of weight loss.  While weight loss is something I know what I need to do, I am doing a good job of a failure to follow plans.  I believe that stress about losing weight could be seen as a sabotage.  I don't think that I have sabotaged myself, yet how I have allowed myself to be stressed out about this and all issues,  Now I have to do what I have to do myself.  The reason being is that I have made no progress in the last few years.  I would like to know what to do and where I need to go as far as direction.  I believe that the stress and the thoughts about my weight have probably made things worse than they should be.  I have a hard time doing what is simple and that I do has to change.  I get overwhelmed easily and that is something that I deal with and try to do.  No man or woman is an island.

Sample plans that may have to change

Meal: Breakfast
Time: 10;00 AM
What I ate or drink? Fiber One brownie
Number of calories: 90
How much or number of ounces: 8oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: At least I have eaten something for breakfast.

Meal: Lunch
Time: 1:20 PM
What I ate or drink? Cheerios
Number of calories: 700
How much or number of ounces: 12 oz. water + 32 oz. coffee
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: I ate way too much in one setting

Meal: Snack 1
Time: 4:30 PM
What I ate or drink? Peanut butter and jelly sandwich
Number of calories: 460
How much or number of ounces: 12 oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: Should I have eaten that before I eaten the fries?

Meal: Dinner
Time: 5:00 PM
Food consumed: French fries
Drink and amount consumed: 12 oz.water
Calories: 360
Reflection: I did eat a healthier portion of fries than before, so I did not eat too much in one sitting

Meal: Lunch
Time: 8:40 PM
What I ate or drink? Fiber One brownie
Number of calories: 90
How much or number of ounces: 32 oz. coffee + 4 oz. juice
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: I should have consumed some water, even if it only 8 oz. of water,

Daily Totals:
Number of calories: 1700
How much or number of ounces: 44 oz. water+  64 oz. coffee +4 oz. cranberry juice
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Overall summary: Not bad...not bad at all, except I did not always consume food in healthy portions.

Exercise Plan
Time: 8:30-9:00 AM
Exercise (s): 10-20 minutes of walking
Mindset: How it can be changed; different or similar to reflection
Health conditions: PCOS, obesity, bipolar
Equipment and clothing: yes
Reflections: I am just afraid to stay the way that I am
Motivation: I want to be healthy and stay healthy
Calories burned: X=<100
Pulse: Y>=75
Time of exercise: 16 minutes
Exercise once today (including number of sets).

Diet and Example menu plan for 4/12/16

Meal: Breakfast
Time: 10;00 AM
What I ate or drink? Fiber One brownie
Number of calories: 90
How much or number of ounces: 8oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: At least I have eaten something for breakfast.

Meal: Lunch
Time: 1:20 PM
What I ate or drink? Cheerios
Number of calories: 700
How much or number of ounces: 12 oz. water + 32 oz. coffee
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: I ate way too much in one setting

Meal: Snack 1
Time: 4:30 PM
What I ate or drink? Peanut butter and jelly sandwich
Number of calories: 460
How much or number of ounces: 12 oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: Should I have eaten that before I eaten the fries?

Meal: Dinner
Time: 5:00 PM
Food consumed: French fries
Drink and amount consumed: 12 oz.water
Calories: 360
Reflection: I did eat a healthier portion of fries than before, so I did not eat too much in one sitting

Meal: Lunch
Time: 8:40 PM
What I ate or drink? Fiber One brownie
Number of calories: 90
How much or number of ounces: 32 oz. coffee + 4 oz. juice
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: I should have consumed some water, even if it only 8 oz. of water,

Daily Totals:
Number of calories: 1700
How much or number of ounces: 44 oz. water+  64 oz. coffee +4 oz. cranberry juice
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Overall summary: Not bad...not bad at all, except I did not always consume food in healthy portions.

Sample:
Breakfast

Oatmeal with Fresh or Frozen (No Sugar Added) Fruit

Oranges or tangerines make a great snack on a healthy meal plan.
By switching from a bowl of cold, dried cereal to one of hot whole-grain cereal and fruit, you’d take in approximately 100 fewer calories each day. That one simple change to your daily diet could help you drop about 10 pounds in one year. Plus, hot cereal has more “staying power.” It tends to fill you up better – and longer – than dried cereal.

Tea or Coffee

Veggie-Salsa Tortilla

1 steamed 6-inch corn tortilla with fresh or grilled vegetables (such as onions, green bell peppers, and tomatoes) and no-added-salt salsa.

Warm the tortilla between slightly moistened paper towels in the microwave for about 1 minute, then top with veggies and salsa; fold

1 Navel Orange or 2 Tangerines

Rest of plan can be found at this site:
https://www.pritikin.com/your-health/health-benefits/healthy-weight-loss/1720-healthy-meal-plan-for-weight-loss.html

Diet and exercise plan for 4/17/16

Meal: Breakfast
Time: 10;00 AM
What I ate or drink? Boost Shake
Number of calories: 250
How much or number of ounces: 8 oz. water + 32 oz. coffee + 8 oz. shake
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: A

Meal: Lunch
Time: 2:20 PM
What I ate or drink? 3 oz. meat, 1 serving starch, 2 cup vegetables and fruits, 2 servings whole grains
Number of calories: C-> 1000
How much or number of ounces: 32 oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: B

Meal: Dinner
Time: 4:30 PM
Food consumed: 3 oz. meat, 2 servings fruit and vegetables
Drink and amount consumed: 12 oz.water
Calories: 300
Where eaten or drunk: Home
Reflection: C

Meal: Snack 1
Time: 6:00 PM
Food consumed: 2 servings of fruit
Drink and amount consumed: 32 oz. water
Calories: Y=> 100
Location: Home
Reflection: D

Exercise plan for 4/17/16
Time: 6;30 PM
Exercise (s): 10-30 dancing
Mindset: I have a lot of weight to lose, but I wish I knew how much to lose.
Health conditions: PCOS, obesity, bipolar
Equipment and clothing: yes
Reflections: I am just afraid to stay the way that I am.  I wish to change all of that one day at a time.
Motivation: I want to be healthy and stay healthy.  I weigh over 300 pounds.
Calories burned: X=<100
Pulse: Y>=75
Time of exercise: 28 minutes
Exercise once today (including number of sets)

Diet and Exercise plan for 4/16/16

Meal: Breakfast
Time: 10;00 AM
What I ate or drink? Scrambled Cheese eggs, grits, sausage, bacon
Number of calories: A1
How much or number of ounces: 8 oz. water + 32 oz. coffee
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: A2

Meal: Lunch
Time: 1:20 PM
What I ate or drink? Hamburger + Fries
Number of calories: B1
How much or number of ounces: 12 oz. water + 16 oz. coffee
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: B3

Meal: Dinner
Time: 4:30 PM
Food consumed: Hamburger
Drink and amount consumed: 12 oz.water
Calories: 400
Where eaten or drunk: Home
Reflection: B1

Meal: Snack 1
Time: 6:00 PM
What I ate or drink? C1
Number of calories: C2
How much or number of ounces: 12 oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: C3

Meal: Snack 2
Time: 7:00 PM
What I ate or drink? Apple
Number of calories: 100
How much or number of ounces: 12 oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: D1

Daily Totals:
Number of calories: Y1
How much or number of ounces: Y2
Where eaten or drank:  Y3
Overall summary: Y4

Exercise Plan
Time: 6;30 PM
Exercise (s): 10-20 dancing
Mindset: I have a lot of weight to lose, but I wish I knew how much to lose.
Health conditions: PCOS, obesity, bipolar
Equipment and clothing: yes
Reflections: I am just afraid to stay the way that I am.  I wish to change all of that one day at a time.
Motivation: I want to be healthy and stay healthy.  I weigh over 300 pounds.
Calories burned: X=<100
Pulse: Y>=75
Time of exercise: 14 minutes
Exercise once today (including number of sets).

Sample Diet and Exercise Program

Meal: Breakfast
Time: 10;00 AM
What I ate or drink? Fiber One brownie
Number of calories: 90
How much or number of ounces: 8oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: At least I have eaten something for breakfast.

Meal: Lunch
Time: 1:20 PM
What I ate or drink? Cheerios
Number of calories: 700
How much or number of ounces: 12 oz. water + 32 oz. coffee
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: I ate way too much in one setting

Meal: Snack 1
Time: 4:30 PM
What I ate or drink? Peanut butter and jelly sandwich
Number of calories: 460
How much or number of ounces: 12 oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: Should I have eaten that before I eaten the fries?

Meal: Dinner
Time: 5:00 PM
Food consumed: French fries
Drink and amount consumed: 12 oz.water
Calories: 360
Reflection: I did eat a healthier portion of fries than before, so I did not eat too much in one sitting

Meal: Lunch
Time: 8:40 PM
What I ate or drink? Fiber One brownie
Number of calories: 90
How much or number of ounces: 32 oz. coffee + 4 oz. juice
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: I should have consumed some water, even if it only 8 oz. of water,

Daily Totals:
Number of calories: 1700
How much or number of ounces: 44 oz. water+  64 oz. coffee +4 oz. cranberry juice
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Overall summary: Not bad...not bad at all, except I did not always consume food in healthy portions.

Exercise Plan
Time: 8:30-9:00 AM
Exercise (s): 10-20 minutes of walking
Mindset: How it can be changed; different or similar to reflection
Health conditions: PCOS, obesity, bipolar
Equipment and clothing: yes
Reflections: I am just afraid to stay the way that I am
Motivation: I want to be healthy and stay healthy
Calories burned: X=<100
Pulse: Y>=75
Time of exercise: 16 minutes
Exercise once today (including number of sets).

Diet and exercise plan (rest) for 4/16 and maybe for 4/17

Weighing time: 8:20 AM

Meal: Breakfast
Time: 10;00 AM
What I ate or drink? Fiber One brownie
Number of calories: 90
How much or number of ounces: 8oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: At least I have eaten something for breakfast.

Meal: Lunch
Time: 1:20 PM
What I ate or drink? Cheerios
Number of calories: 700
How much or number of ounces: 12 oz. water + 32 oz. coffee
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: I ate way too much in one setting

Meal: Snack 1
Time: 4:30 PM
What I ate or drink? Peanut butter and jelly sandwich
Number of calories: 460
How much or number of ounces: 12 oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: Should I have eaten that before I eaten the fries?

Meal: Dinner
Time: 5:00 PM
Food consumed: French fries
Drink and amount consumed: 12 oz.water
Calories: 360
Reflection: I did eat a healthier portion of fries than before, so I did not eat too much in one sitting

Meal: Lunch
Time: 8:40 PM
What I ate or drink? Fiber One brownie
Number of calories: 90
How much or number of ounces: 32 oz. coffee + 4 oz. juice
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection: I should have consumed some water, even if it only 8 oz. of water,

Daily Totals:
Number of calories: 1700
How much or number of ounces: 44 oz. water+  64 oz. coffee +4 oz. cranberry juice
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Overall summary: Not bad...not bad at all, except I did not always consume food in healthy portions.

Exercise Plan
Time: 8:30-9:00 AM
Exercise (s): 10-20 minutes of walking
Mindset: How it can be changed; different or similar to reflection
Health conditions: PCOS, obesity, bipolar
Equipment and clothing: yes
Reflections: I am just afraid to stay the way that I am
Motivation: I want to be healthy and stay healthy
Calories burned: X=<100
Pulse: Y>=75
Time of exercise: 16 minutes
Exercise once today (including number of sets).

Diet and Exercise Plan for 4/11/16

Weighing time: 6:30-6:45 AM

Meal: Breakfast
Time: 7;00 AM
What I ate or drink? Fiber One
Number of calories: 190
How much or number of ounces: 8 oz juice or coffee + 8oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection:

Meal: Snack 1
Time: 9:20 AM
What I ate or drink? Boost Glucose Control Creamy Strawberry Shake
Number of calories: 250
How much or number of ounces: 8 oz. shake + 12 oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection:

Meal: Snack 2
Time: 10:30 AM
Food consumed: Medium apple
Drink and amount consumed: 12 oz. cranberry juice
Calories: 210
Reflection:

Meal: Lunch
Time: 12:30 PM
What I ate or drink? Chicken soup and Bread with orange
Number of calories: 440
How much or number of ounces: 8 oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection:

Meal:Snack 3
Time: 3:00 PM
What I ate or drink? Peanut butter and preserve or jelly sandwich
Number of calories: 270
How much or number of ounces: 8 oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection:

Meal: Dinner
Time: 5:30 PM
What I ate or drink? 2.5 cup pineapple + 1 cup strawberries
Number of calories: 270
How much or number of ounces: 12 oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection:

Meal: Snack 4
Time: 8:00 PM
What I ate or drink? Chicken soup and Bread with orange
Number of calories: 240
How much or number of ounces: 12 oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Reflection:

Daily Totals:
Number of calories: 1870
How much or number of ounces: 60 oz. water + 12 oz. juice + 8 oz. glucose shake
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Overall summary:

Exercise Plan
Time: 8:30-9:00 AM
Exercise (s): 10-20 minutes of walking
Mindset: How it can be changed; different or similar to reflection
Health conditions: PCOS, obesity, bipolar
Equipment and clothing: yes
Reflections: I am just afraid to stay the way that I am
Motivation: I want to be healthy and stay healthy
Calories burned: X=<100
Pulse: Y>=75
Time of exercise: 16 minutes
Exercise once today (including number of sets).

Diet and exercise plan for 4/10/16

Diet plan

Meal: Breakfast
Time: 9 AM
What I ate or drink? Boost Glucose Control Creamy Strawberry Shake
Number of calories: 250
How much or number of ounces: 8 oz. + 8oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Carbs: 50
Feelings and thoughts: I have learned that breakfast, food or drink, is the most important meal of the day.
Right: Diabetic shake
Wrong: None

Meal: Snack 1
Time: 11:20 AM
What I ate or drink? Boost Glucose Control Creamy Strawberry Shake
Number of calories: 250
How much or number of ounces: 8 oz. shake + 12 oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Carbs: 50
Feelings and thoughts: I have learned that breakfast, food or drink, is the most important meal of the day.
Right: Diabetic shake
Wrong: None

Optional 
Drink and amount consumed: 12 oz. cranberry juice
Calories: 110

Meal: Snack 2
Time: 1:30 PM
What I ate or drink? Apple and Orange
Number of calories: 210
How much or number of ounces: 8 oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Carbs: 40
Feelings and thoughts: Reflection
Right: Reflection

Wrong: None

Meal: Lunch
Time: 3:00 PM
What I ate or drink? 3 ounces chicken or beef, 1 cup vegetable, 1 cup starch
Number of calories: 230
How much or number of ounces: 8 oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Carbs: 120
Feelings and thoughts: Reflection
Right: Reflection

Wrong: None

Meal: Snack 3
Time: 5:00 PM
What I ate or drink? 2.5 cup pineapple + 1 cup strawberries
Number of calories: 270
How much or number of ounces: 12 oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Carbs: 30
Feelings and thoughts: Reflection
Right: Reflection

Wrong: None

Meal: Dinner 
Time: 8:00 PM
What I ate or drink? 3 ounces chicken or beef, 1 cup vegetable
Number of calories: 160
How much or number of ounces: 12 oz. water
Where eaten or drank:  Home

Carbs: 80
Feelings and thoughts: Reflection
Right: Reflection

Wrong: None

Daily Totals:
Number of calories: 1480
How much or number of ounces: 60 oz. water + 12 oz. juice + 16 oz. glucose shake
Where eaten or drank:  Home

Carbs: 480

Daily reflection:
Discuss and reflect on daily totals and how to correct what is in need of change.

Exercise Plan

Time: 8:00-8:30 AM

Exercise (s): 10-15 minutes of walking

Mindset: How it can be changed; different or similar to reflection

Health conditions: PCOS, obesity, bipolar

Equipment and clothing: yes

Reflections: I am just afraid to stay the way that I am

Motivation: I want to be healthy and stay healthy

Calories burned: 160

Pulse: 89

Time of exercise: 13 minutes 

Exercise once today (including number of sets).

Taking a break

I am taking a break tonight.  I am glad to be back and I have been for a while.

Changing Landscape

Changing landscape

Spinning, swallowing all lesser bodies,
like an earthly, empty black hole,
Snuffing out your soul,
consuming all in its path,
and spitting out what 'requires improvement'.

Ofsted tornado touches down,
Run children, run teachers,
The stripping down will be painful,
But the landscape will never be the same,
Must improve, must extend, must reach endpoint.

Well, I have reached my endpoint.
I am going to improve and extend,
but beyond your narrow parameters,
My soul is mine to own and enhance,
Not to make weary with life-sucking overtime.

I require improvement,
I determine my landscape,
I differentiate my experiences,
I choose my soul,
I strip away unhappiness.

Changing landscape

Proposed Diet and Exercise plan for 4/6

Sample Diet plan
* [Meal: Breakfast
Time: 9 AM
What I ate or drink? Boost Glucose Control Creamy Strawberry Shake
Number of calories: 250
How much or number of ounces: 8 oz.
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Feelings and thoughts: I have learned that breakfast, food or drink, is the most important meal of the day.
Right: Diabetic shake
Wrong: None]

*Repeat this plan above for every meal


April 6, 2016
Walk 10 minutes
Lift weights 5 minutes

I think I am at a crossroads.  I feel like I am at a crossroads.  But am I really?  I stopped caring.  I stopped caring because I don't know.  I am just sick and tired of always struggling to eat healthy and count calories.  I don't know what I am doing.  That is the crux of the matter.

Plans for 4/5

Sample Diet plan
* [Meal: Breakfast
Time: 9 AM
What I ate or drink? Boost Glucose Control Creamy Strawberry Shake
Number of calories: 250
How much or number of ounces: 8 oz.
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Feelings and thoughts: I have learned that breakfast, food or drink, is the most important meal of the day.
Right: Diabetic shake
Wrong: None]

*Repeat this plan above for every meal


April 5, 2016
Rest

Diet and Exercise Plan for 4/4

Sample Diet plan
* [Meal: Breakfast
Time: 9 AM
What I ate or drink? Boost Glucose Control Creamy Strawberry Shake
Number of calories: 250
How much or number of ounces: 8 oz.
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Feelings and thoughts: I have learned that breakfast, food or drink, is the most important meal of the day.
Right: Diabetic shake
Wrong: None]

*Repeat this plan above for every meal


April 4, 2016
Walk 10 minutes
Lift weights 5 minutes

Exercise and Diet Plan for 4/3/16

Sample Diet plan
* [Meal: Breakfast
Time: 9 AM
What I ate or drink? Boost Glucose Control Creamy Strawberry Shake
Number of calories: 250
How much or number of ounces: 8 oz.
Where eaten or drank:  Home
Feelings and thoughts: I have learned that breakfast, food or drink, is the most important meal of the day.
Right: Diabetic shake
Wrong: None]

*Repeat this plan above for every meal

Exercise Plan 

April 3, 2016

Walk 10 minutes

Lift weights 5 minutes

Weighty reflection

I went to my nutritionist then and for the first time, I am motivated to lose weight.  It will obviously be hard.  I will be a struggle at times.  However, I finally realized that I don't have to diet, nor do I have to see my weight as my god.  What I mean by that is that I can do it. I have been so stressed out about my weight because I didn't know what I was doing.  I want to lose weight that is for sure, but I realize that I don't have to worry about jinxes or diets.  That is what is and has been wrong with me.  I don't eat much fruit or vegetables, which is not a good thing, so the change is to incorporate more fruits or vegetables in my diet.  This is where I realize that this is a non-traditional blog.

Of course, many of my blogs are non-traditional, which of course is okay.  I feel pretty good about what I ate today.  However, my portions are often too large, which is true with the cereal that I eat.  Eating more than the recommended amount takes up a lot of weight watchers points. I didn't realize this, but man do dried fruit, especially a small amount of dried cherries take up a lot of points as well.

Laying off of the cherries would be a good thing for me.  I love to snack, but I need to snack in moderation.  What change do I need to make first?  I don't know yet, but I need to know.  Is it about the fruit and vegetables first?  Should I learn to measure foods and thus eat in moderation?  Could I do those things around the same time?  Where do I begin to make changes, since I am considering a healthy lifestyle?

Dieting and following rules have been a struggle for me. I have felt bad about myself.  I could have been thinner and healthier by now.  Why is it that I have allowed myself to get to the weight I am?  I have never made excuses, but I do have a complex condition called polycystic ovarian syndrome.  It can be hard to deal with especially when I have a greater risk of diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, which could lead to further complications, including lowering self-esteem and even other conditions such as stroke and cancer due to the risks of being overweight.  That is a lot to deal with.  I have to take my health even more seriously and worrying has done me no good.  Trust me.  I will have to promise myself that I will love myself and that whatever else I am going through, I can do it. I will respect myself enough to be healthy and stay healthy.  I also have to make a promise to myself to not allow stress to get the best of me, even though I realize that losing weight is a journey.  Life is not fair, but neither have I been to myself.

While it has not been easy, I have to remind myself that there have been, and there are others who are struggling not only with their weight and their overall health.  There are some who have struggled with their lives and still are.  I realize that I needed to have my eyes opened because I am too hard on myself.  It is time that I be honest with myself and it will not involve my putting myself down and wishing that things could be different.  I won't do that tonight.  I will make a promise to not do that especially because of the past.  I will also believe that despite the struggle, I will not consider myself a failure.  I have a long way to go, but I will make a promise that my goal will be to be healthy and have a healthy mindset.