Being honest

I have finally realized what is or was, wrong with me. I have a ball of fears for so long that I feel like I cannot accomplish anything.  I believe that fear is the major enemy of weight loss.  I would like to lose over 100 pounds.  My goal range is between 195-200 pounds.  I admire seeing curvy women.  I hope to look like that someday.  They are my inspiration.  I want to have that body type.  I have a low opinion of my body. I don't feel great about myself.  I have gained so much weight over the years.  I don't want to weigh over 300-350 pounds.  I want to see and notice the "bonuses" of losing weight like better health and getting through the door.  It may start with formulating a diet and exercise plans, but I worry and fear that I will never follow through.  I need to make a realistic plan and set realistic goals for myself.  I wonder what do I need to do.  I am close to 300 pounds.  I don't wish to remain 284+ pounds for longer than I have to be.  I don't also wish to remain fearful of worsening health, getting unable to go through doors, and unable to do things that others take for granted.