Despite my lack of desire, I want to accomplish being healthy. My last sentence was a little weird. I have lost weight, but my heart is not in it. I am taking a risk for I have failed for a long time. I risk hurting no one but myself. I feel foolish even writing this. All I am in need of is a little help and a little accountability. I have been going at it for so long, I have afraid of planning to fail instead of a failure to plan. I obviously made plans only for them to fall apart. I only have myself to blame. I hate feeling this way, but that is how I feel.